The Key to Overcoming Self-Sabotage

Creative Mindset

May 2

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Learn to Trust Your Intuition

You know… sometimes it feels like you have to go through a little menty-b in order to experience the breakthrough and to stop self sabotaging.

Today, we're going to talk about a topic that affects many creatives - self-sabotage. We’re going to identify if you're self-sabotaging and give you practical tips to overcome it, so you can unleash your creativity and reach your full potential.

What is self-sabotage?

Self sabotage is an energy drain and takes more effort than actually following through with the actions that will lead to achieving our goals.

First, let's get clear on what self-sabotage is, because I know a lot of us want to pretend like we aren’t the problem but…. self-sabotage is when we unconsciously undermine our own efforts, even when we know we could be doing better. It can take many forms, such as procrastination, perfectionism, or self-doubt. It can even be the act of doing busy work to prevent you from accomplishing the main task. It’s constantly giving yourself excuses why you can’t move forward or why you aren’t showing up.

A simple example of self sabotage is when you have this amazing business idea, but then never talk about it or never talk about your products and services. It could also be something as small as staying up late the night before a big event, and then being “too exhausted” to show up as your highest self.

Still don’t know if you’re self sabotaging? I have a few questions for you to answer to find out.

Do you find yourself constantly putting things off until the last minute?
Do you find yourself getting in your own way when you're trying to create something new?
Are you consuming content MORE than you are making it?

These are signs that you may be self-sabotaging.

So, how do we overcome self-sabotage? The first step is to acknowledge that it's happening. Once we're aware of our self-sabotaging behaviors, we can begin to work on them. If you’re like “Danielle I have no clue how I’m going to stop, I’ve always been this way” That’s the cool part about our brain and how we function.

Self sabotaging is a habit that’s been built into your auto pilot system of how you work and do things. However, because of neural plasticity we can actively retrain our auto pilot system. That means replacing old habits with new habits. Our auto-pilot system is filled with behavioral patterns that we no longer have to think about, but just because it’s on auto pilot doesn’t mean we have to be this way forever. The really amazing thing about our brains is that we have the ability to change behavioral patterns and become the person we want to be. This is when mindset meets action.

My step-by-step approach to overcoming self-sabotage:

Identify who you are:
Figure out the habits you currently do that prevent you from getting closer to your goals, or the habits that affect how you think about yourself.
Identify who you want to be:
Getting clear on the person you want to become will help you identify the kind of habits that you need in your life in order to become that person
Assign your old habits a new habit:
Knowing ahead of time what you want to replace your old habits with will create a path of least resistance. Making it 10x easier to say yes to the new habit.
Actively identify how you feel:
I want you to actively pay attention to how you feel during your old habit vs how you feel during your new habit. Let’s say one of the old habits you want to replace is sitting on the couch watching tv while simultaneously being on your phone. The next time you catch yourself doing that, I want you to ask yourself “how does this make me feel” “why am I doing this” - because knowing how you feel during/after the old habit, help you say yes to the feeling you can get from doing new habit.
Find your easiest yes:
Earlier I mentioned that because of neural plasticity you can replace habits built into our auto pilot system, and the only way to do that is to actively say no to the old habit while simultaneously saying yes to the new. Which means on low energy days, you need to know what your easiest yes is in order to continue to strength the neural pathway to the new habit.

This 5 step process is going to help you stop self sabotaging while also connecting you to your intuition. If you want to learn more about this, I really break it all down in my Work Intuitively Masterclass that I host on Thursdays at 2pm CST.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to identify when you are doing or thinking things that don’t align with who you want to be, and then actively choose NOT to continue doing it. This small gesture of choosing to end the cycle once, will make it easier to end the cycle a second time, and a third and a fourth and a fifth until finally you’ve built a new habit for your personal auto pilot system.

So basically if you want to be the person that goes for walks after work, but you’re currently the person that sits on the couch scrolling social media, then every time you catch yourself sitting on the couch after work, you need to get up and go for that walk. Identifying your current behavioral patterns that you want to outgrow and then knowing what you want to replace them with will make it easier to change out that habit. But remember you also need to identify how you feel. Tying an emotion to the old and new habit will help give you that motivation you need to move forward with the switch. But let’s say you actively notice that you’re sitting on the couch, you recognize that you want to be the person that goes for those walks, but either you’re in procrastination paralysis or you’re energy levels are so low you’re about to say fuck it and stay on the couch, ask yourself what that easiest yes would be? Maybe you don’t have enough energy for that walk, but you can still go outside. Or let’s say it’s raining and you’re like “hell no i’m not walking in the rain”, you can do a few laps around your house.

Remember, it’s not always about doing the new habit, it’s about actively not self sabotaging ourselves with negative energy that’s surrounded with doing the old habit.

Keep these three pieces of advice in mind while you are actively trying to stop self sabotaging:

Practice self-compassion. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and it's okay to fail sometimes. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your successes – no matter how small they may be.
Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you and your creative abilities. They can help you stay motivated and provide a sounding board when you need it.
Lastly, take action. The best way to overcome self-sabotage is to take action towards your goals, even if it's just a small step. Momentum is key, and the more you do, the easier it will become to keep going.

Self-sabotage is a common problem, but it's not something that has to hold you back. By being aware of your behaviors and taking action towards your goals, you can overcome self-sabotage and achieve your creative dreams.