How to Build Self Confidence
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Learn to be the confident baddie we know you are!
Today is all about confidence! What it is, what it looks like, where it comes from, and how the heck to build confidence for yourself. This is one of the most timeless topics in both the self-development and business worlds, because no matter how accomplished you may be, confidence can sometimes feel impossible to develop. In this episode, we break all of these questions down and give our best insights and pep talks for all of you who may need a boost in the confidence department.
How to Boost Your Confidence
I think its safe to say we all could use a little more confidence in different departments of our lives.
A lot of times we see people who naturally exude confidence without ever defining why we think they're confident — let's go over some of the qualities that confident people have:
the ability to brush off peoples comments with a simple "ok"
spontaneous adventures
the ability to say no, and say it often
unwavering self-assuredness
calm, relaxed speaking patterns & body language
they aren't fishing for approval, they let everything speak for itself
simple aesthetic vs maximalist aesthetic either way they know what they love
Confidence is custom to the individual:
Remember, what you might interpret as confidence in someone, they might not recognize in themselves. Which is why you need to be clear one what confidence is to you in order to tap into whenever you want.
What is confidence:
When you look up the definition of confidence you get this:
full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing:
belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance:
Where does confidence come from:
A lot of people think you must first be confident before you can take action, but confidence actually COMES FROM taking action, which may seem counterintuitive.
The quote "practice makes perfect" seems pretty clear, but since we all know there's no such thing as perfect, lets change that to "practice brings out confidence". The more you do something, the more confident you are to do it again.
Jumping off the high dive can be scary, but once you've done it, you know you can do it again.
Posting on social media about your business can feel scary but once you've done it you feel secure enough to do it again.
This has a lot to do with safety. Once you know that something feels safe to do, you are more comfortable doing that thing over and over, just like the high dive and posting on social. But the problem is that we don't have evidence that something is safe UNTIL WE DO IT.
The same goes for doing something similar. When an activity is in the same category as something you've already achieved or felt safe doing, its easier to tap into past confidence in order to achieve the new task.
This is why I have my members practice writing their Evidence List. It’s a term I coined when I first started my self employment journey and was seeking to remember who I was. It’s a practice where you write down everything that you’ve ever done or achieved. I practice this every quarter now, but I have my members do this during Morning Pages when they can’t connect to their conscious train of thought.
What ends up happening is you consciously remind yourself of who you are and everything you were able to accomplish in your life - which builds the self-esteem. Then when you do something similar to an achievement already on your evidence list, you subconscious can connect it to something you’ve already done.
ex. if you’ve gone sky diving you can go bungee jumping
ex. athletic people seem to be good at every sport - open to trying every sport
Until next time
xo Danielle
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Danielle’s TikTok: @her.messy.bun
